Tuesday, December 29, 2015

I miss him terribly tonight. It's like clock work. As the sun goes down and our home with it my heart sinks and I sit and wonder, "What is he doing right now?" For anyone who has to be away from their spouse for any amount of time, I'm sure you can relate. I look at my life and I have been so abundantly blessed...completely wonderful, perfectly healthy children, a home, though small and simple it stands as a powerful foundation for us and our journey. And a husband who, as much as I know about love, loves me. We have been through hell he and I. We've lived to tell the tale though sometimes it's a hard one for people to hear. Don't get me wrong I do love to share it when appropriate, but it is a tale of lies and deceit, or terrible betrayal and heartache. But we stand strong now, today. Forgiveness is the most powerful gift I am grateful to know about, and nights like tonight I am even more grateful to have fought the fight, to have the man of my dreams and know that he will come home to me. I will see him soon. He is not gone forever, just living his dream, providing for his family, taking care of us. I'm grateful for him and all he is and sometimes that itself makes the pain and loneliness I feel with his absence even more intense. But I welcome it. Because to feel any emotion is better than being numb. I state I have known in my life all too well. That's really all I have to say tonight. I don't worry too much about it being politically correct or anything like that because no one reads this anyway. But I am grateful to have a place to express my emotions, however jumbled. Goodnight.

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