Thursday, November 20, 2014

Being married to a comedian Part 1

People ask me all the time how I do it, being married to a comedian. I figured it was time to answer some of those questions… We have had rocky roads in this journey. As some of you may or may not know the trails of the journey almost cost us our marriage. But we decided we didn't want to be a statistic and we had something worth saving. So now here we are with a picture perfect life…Haha ya right! We have to work everyday at it. For a long time I didn't know how to answer this question of "How do you do it?" I just did it. And then I realized the things that I have learned to do are so valuable and people can use them in any walk of life. It's not that I have a magic answer but I do have answers, starting with this one.  I have several tools that I use to cope with my husband being gone and myself being lonely, doing both parent's roles, and progressing in life physically, emotional, spiritually etc. I have valuable things I do everyday. But that doesn't mean there aren't hard days. Today, is one of those days. My wonderful mentor told me that we have to keep doing the little things everyday that keep us on the right road, getting closer to our destination, but that when we get discouraged that things aren't happening as fast as we'd like we have to consider the residual baggage we have built up over time. If I've spent most of my life being negative and then switched it just a few years ago to expect I won't have bad creep up is silly. I have years of negative thoughts stored in my head. So does that mean that you give up? Absolutely not. The bad does eventually flush out as I keep getting negative thoughts out of my head and replacing them with positive. The residual starts to change. I love this analogy. And that is one of the first tools I use in dealing with hard, less than ideal times. I release the negative. I actually do this by writing my negative thoughts in a black journal, separate from my color journal where positive entries go. You see I'm not immune to hard times and it's not always easy for my husband to be away, but I have used this tool and many others and it makes me love life even more. Because if I can get negative thoughts out of my head, then positive thoughts can actually enter and have a place and not get pushed out of the way because my head is overflowing with negative. You see 80% of the thoughts we think are negative. 80%!!! And they are just sitting it your brain. Get em out. Get em gone. it will make a difference.

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